Test whether you're ready to share it

You've captured what you know and decided how to carry it forward. Now comes an optional but useful test: are you ready to talk about this idea with other people?

This isn't about launching or marketing. It's about whether you can speak about your decision naturally, without cringing or over-explaining. Whether you've chosen to pursue, pivot, or pause - can you own that choice in conversation?

Some people need to keep their thinking private until they're further along. Others find that talking about it helps them spot gaps or build confidence. Neither approach is wrong, but it's worth knowing which one serves you right now.

If you're ready to share

Start small - not with strangers on the internet, but with people who understand you and will give you honest feedback. The goal isn't validation or cheerleading. It's reality-testing your reasoning with someone who cares enough to tell you the truth.

If you're not ready

That's equally valuable information. Maybe you need more certainty, or maybe the idea needs more private development time. Knowing this prevents you from sharing before you're ready and then retreating when the feedback doesn't land the way you hoped.

This step helps you calibrate your confidence and spot any disconnects between how the idea sounds in your head versus how it sounds out loud.

In Explore More: the neuroscience of why speaking ideas aloud makes them more real, when to ignore feedback that derails you, and how to tell the difference between useful input and noise.

This isn't about getting permission or approval for your decision. It's about testing whether your reasoning holds up when you have to articulate it to another human being. Sometimes ideas that feel solid in your head reveal gaps when you try to explain them out loud.

You're not looking for cheerleading or validation. You're looking for clarity - both in how you communicate your choice and in how confident you feel defending it.

The Spark:Neuroscientist Dr. Matthew Lieberman's research shows that when we put feelings and thoughts into words, it activates the brain's prefrontal cortex and calms the emotional centres. Speaking an idea aloud literally makes it more concrete and manageable.

But there's a flip side: once you've spoken something, your brain treats it as more "real" - which means you're more committed to it, even if the feedback suggests you shouldn't be.

The Real Lesson:Choose your first conversation carefully. The person and the timing matter more than you think. If you share too early with the wrong person, their reaction can shake confidence you've legitimately earned. If you wait too long, you might miss insights that could strengthen your approach.

Resources:

  • Dr. Matthew Lieberman: The Social Brain and Its Superpowers - Article

Not all feedback is created equal. Watch out for these patterns that can derail your clarity:

  • Borrowed doubt: When someone projects their own fears onto your situation
  • Different values: When feedback comes from someone who prioritises different things than you do
  • Wrong timing: When someone gives you "how to scale" advice when you're still figuring out "whether to start"
  • Misunderstood constraints: When advice ignores your actual life circumstances

Trust feedback that helps you think more clearly about your choice. Ignore feedback that makes you question everything without offering better alternatives.

"I want to test talking about my decision but I'm not sure who to choose or how to approach it. Can you help me think through who might give me useful feedback?"

"I shared my decision with someone and their reaction made me doubt everything. Help me figure out if their feedback is worth considering or if it's just derailing me."

The right person will help you think more clearly about your choice, not talk you out of it. If someone's reaction makes you question your entire process rather than refine your approach, you probably chose the wrong sounding board.

Who in your life would you trust to give you honest feedback about a big decision without projecting their own agenda onto it?